


Hardzzello: A Life In Snapshots

by TheAdorableTia



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:14:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25312903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAdorableTia/pseuds/TheAdorableTia
Summary: A series of vignettes from the lives of Joe Mazzello and Ben Hardy, two idiots in love. No beginning, no end. Just stories of love, laughter, and a life lived together.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Joe Mazzello
Kudos: 14





	1. Things Said In The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my first ever Hardzzello fic! Please scream at me in the comments if you liked it! This is a work of fiction, and in no way represents the people depicted in it.
> 
> Joe was straight wasn’t he? He’d never had these kinds of thoughts about men before in his life, until one Ben Hardy walked onto set and into Joe’s mind, and heart. Soul searching, denial, and a bottle of wine can make all the difference.

‘Fuck.’ Joe thought to himself. It was a moment of self realization and also a crisis of earth shattering proportions. At least, to him it was.  
His thought just before that had been, ‘Wow, Ben has a great ass.’ It wasn’t the fact that he had thought it. He had that thought many times before, because Ben Fucking Hardy was essentially a god among men in the physique department. No one could deny that. It was merely a fact.  
The reason that this particular time he had that thought was disturbing was because it had been accompanied by the urge to get his hands on it. Not in a playful, friendly, joking manner but in a wanting to feel it and grasp it way.  
He’d tried to shake it off, but after a couple of weeks the feeling still hadn’t gone away. He found himself staring at Ben more and more. On the outside he was trying to stay cool. He kept playing at being platonic with Ben. He tried so damned hard to quash the feelings and thoughts he was having, but it still lingered under the surface until one day he thought of more than just the physical.  
This was not good. Joe’s brain began to spiral, his thoughts moving in a panic. He started to think about all the times he had looked at his friend and had noticed things about him. The way his lips curved, the high cheekbones, the color of his eyes, his thick thighs and biceps, and his chiseled torso. Every time he had brushed off the thoughts as just admiration for his friend’s looks. He had similar thoughts about other male friends of his. Gwil, Rami, Allen and several others but as he kept thinking he realized that the thoughts he had about them hadn’t lingered with him the same way that they had when he thought about Ben. Those thoughts were never accompanied by a wistful longing for the person.  
“Hey buddy, you alright?” the accented voice of the man his brain had just been panicking over sunk in past the thoughts and he jumped slightly, moving back into the present. He looked over at Ben, a look of concern on his beautiful face.  
“Yeah, I’m good mate.” Joe responded, doing his best to sound better than he felt. “Just tired, feels like the filming is going on forever.” He tried to brush it off, but the thoughts still lingered in the back of his head.  
This movie was so far the highlight of Joe’s career. Jurassic Park had been what gave him his break into the world of acting, but Bohemian Rhapsody was the opportunity of a lifetime. The chance to play one of the world’s most accomplished and talented musicians was an absolute gift. The fact that he and the three other men playing the infamous band Queen had formed their own little group that they playfully referred to as The BoRhap Boys was a bonus. It was now occurring to Joe that one of the boys seemed to matter to him differently than the other two did.  
The director was telling everyone to get back to their places, and Joe thanked god that this meant they would get back to work and his brain would stop down its path. At least, he desperately hoped it would. The last thing he needed was to have a panic attack.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Later that evening when filming had wrapped, and Joe was in the shower of his hotel room the thoughts started to return. He was in the middle of scrubbing off the day’s sweat and make up when the sudden image of a wet, naked Ben popped into his head. He suppressed a groan that tried to rise up in his throat and he felt a very distinct twitch down in his nether region.  
‘GodDAMMIT.’ Joe thought this time. He tried to clear his mind of the thought but the more he tried to banish it, the more it invaded his brain space. In a fit of panic he reached out and turned the knob of the shower all the way to the cold side. Joe yelped as the water turned from pleasantly hot to frigid as the arctic.  
It gave Joe the intended response. His thoughts went from a hot, wet, and very much naked Ben Hardy to ‘Coldcoldcoldcoldcold.’ and a very strong desire to rinse as quickly possible to escape the self imposed torture.  
In no way should Joe be thinking those kinds of thoughts about a guy who was very quickly becoming someone who he would consider a best friend. Hell, Joe shouldn’t be thinking those thoughts about any guy at all. Joe was straight, but as he dried himself off, trying to rub heat back into his skin, he had a little niggle of doubt in the back of his mind. If he was straight those thoughts about Ben should never have happened.  
And there was Ben fucking Hardy back in his thoughts again. His brain swirled around the idea of not being straight, of being attracted to his friend and co-star while he donned his boxers, pajama pants and old t shirt before clambering into bed.  
He pulled the covers up tight around himself, cocooning in the soft blanket and burying his head in the plush pillows.  
If Joe was attracted to Ben, it would forever be an unrequited one. Ben was a beautiful, sculpted angel of a man and Joe.. Joe was just a man. Above average in looks but not by a big margin, no where near Ben’s level in his own thinking. His body was fit but not anything special. Even if the blond Brit was attracted to men, which there was no indication of, he could do so much better than Joe.  
Joe hoped this realization would curb his thinking, stop it dead in its tracks. The exact opposite was happening. He was pining for something he could not have, which made the panic grow even more.  
Now, not only was he dealing with an upheaval in what was something foundational in his life, but on top of that he was worried that the person who started this bullshit would never want him in the same way.  
Joe got back out of bed, even though he’d only been in it for about five minutes and went to the kitchenette in the room he had been given and pulled a bottle of wine from the little fridge. He unscrewed the top of the cheap thing and swigged it straight from the bottle. He needed to dull his mind. He needed to take the edge off just enough so he could sleep. He could deal with everything tomorrow but right now he needed the bliss of oblivion.  
He plopped down on the edge of the bed and kept taking drinks from the wine that didn’t really taste of anything. He was too far gone in his own thoughts and before he knew it, he’d taken down almost two thirds of the bottle. He had hoped that the alcohol would stop his brain but all it did was make everything worse.  
It was absolutely infuriating. His panic started to turn to anger. At himself, at the situation, and even a bit towards Ben as irrational as that was. How dare he be so goddamn perfect? How could this man bring Joe’s world crashing down around him without ever doing a single thing besides being himself?  
Joe’s mind wandered down the hall. Just a few steps out of his door would lead him to an identical room where Ben was, probably laying in his own bed fast asleep without having any of the same problems that Joe was having.  
Joe’s addled brain couldn’t have any of that, and with liquid courage coursing through his veins he stood up with wine still in hand. He threw open his door and made his way down the hall and stopped in front of Ben fucking Hardy’s door. He raised his fist to the door and slammed it against the wood a few times.  
When there wasn’t an answer, he pounded again even harder this time, accompanied by his hissing out, “Benjamin fucking Hardy open this door!”  
A few moments later, the door opened up with a click and there was the object of Joe’s desire. The Brit was clad only in a pair of boxer briefs that cling to his ass and thighs. His cut torso was on display and his face was groggy.  
“Oi, mate what gives? It’s the middle of the night.” Ben rubbed at his eyes, trying to wipe the sleep from them. He was absolutely adorable with his gold hair tousled from sleep and his eyes half open, trying to focus on Joe in front of him.  
Joe was so taken aback by the sight that words escaped him, which was a feat rarely ever achieved. When he didn’t speak for a few moments Ben shifted on his feet and spoke, noting the bottle clutched in Joe’s hand.  
“What’s with the wine? Usually you invite me over when you wanna crack one open.” That’s how it had been the last few weeks. At least twice a week Joe and any combination of the boys and Lucy would hang out and share a bottle of wine to unwind from the day of shooting. “But it’s like two am, and I’m absolutely knackered.”  
Joe finally found his voice again at Ben’s words. “You’re tired? I’m having a crisis Ben!”  
Ben’s eyes widened and he opened the door farther and gestured for Joe to come in. He was more awake now, and could see the panic in Joe’s eyes even through the alcohol induced haziness.  
Joe’s steps were hesitant, knowing that this was probably a bad idea that he really hadn’t thought through. Now that he was faced with the object of his hysteria, sobriety was starting to hit him. He moved across the room while Ben shut the door and flopped onto the couch in the little sitting area.  
He lifted the wine bottle to his lips and took another long pull from it. Ben perched next to him, settling back and half turning his body to face Joe who stared straight ahead at the frankly ugly piece of art the hotel had put up on the wall.  
Just as Ben was about to speak to break the uneasy and unusual silence between the pair Joe started to ramble.  
“Have you ever had thoughts or feelings about someone you know you shouldn’t? Someone who is so far out of your league that you might as well be playing different games? Someone you don’t want to ruin what you have with? Someone who you know will never ever want you in the same way?”  
Joe’s voice was quiet, just barely above a whisper but I carried in the silent room. Joe sipped the wine again as his gaze stayed locked on the painting. Even from this angle Ben could tell that Joe wasn’t focused on it. His thoughts were turned inward and racing. Ben could almost see the steam rising from Joe’s ears as his thoughts churned.  
“Yeah, I have.” Ben said just as quietly as Joe did. “Feels like someone is ripping your guts out and stomping them into the floor.” Ben’s eyes stayed trained on Joe as he spoke, boring into him.  
Joe could feel Ben’s eyes on himself and he turned his face to the angelic one next to him. There was no way on god’s green earth that this man couldn’t have anyone he wanted. Joe scoffed and laughed down what was left in the bottle and set it on the little table in front of them.  
“You? Benjamin Hardy, a walking talking vision of perfection could have anyone you wanted. If anyone didn’t want you they’d be outside of their mind.”  
‘Unless it’s me. Wanting him is absolutely crazy.’ His own internal voice told him.  
“But that’s just it! That’s all anyone ever sees! They look at me and they just think I’m this hot guy who would look good on their arm!” Ben leaned forward as he spoke. “The person I want to be with, who knowing would not want me, is someone who has never cared about my looks. From the moment I met them, I knew they were someone who would see the real me.”  
Joe was taken aback at how adamant Ben was in his words. The intensity in his green stare was almost palpable. This person must be extraordinary to have Ben pining over them.  
Ben had said ‘them’ not ‘she’ Joe’s alcohol slowed mind finally thought after a few moments of processing. Could… could Ben be talking about a guy? The thought was so preposterous that Joe had to stifle a laugh at the thought. Ben was a ladies man. He’d been with more super models than a Victoria’s Secret fashion show.  
“They must be very special to have the attention of you then.” Joe said softly, his posture deflating a bit, his eyes turning down to stare at his own lap. He had known from the beginning that it would never happen with Ben. This just totally cemented the deal. Ben was in love with someone. Totally smitten. Any tiny kernel of hope that may have resided in the deepest pit of Joe’s heart was being smothered.  
Just as Joe had resolved himself to going back to his own room to wallow in self pity, Ben spoke. Just two little words that turned Joe’s world up on its head one more time.  
“It’s you.”  
Joe’s head snapped up and saw Ben staring at him with uncertainty in his gorgeous green eyes and the sight nearly broke Joe’s heart. Ben had just confessed to something that Joe wasn’t sure he would ever be brave enough to say on his own. He had been ready to walk out of this room with the knowledge that he would never utter a word to Ben about his feelings for fear of losing him.  
But here was brave, beautiful Benjamin Hardy spilling out his heart in two tiny little words.  
“I know you don’t feel the same way Joe.” He said as he backed away a bit, sitting up straighter. “But I just.. I had to say it. I’m sorry, and I know nothing will ever happen between us but I couldn’t keep watching you think that someone wouldn’t love you.”  
Before Ben could utter another apology, Joe shot forward, and wrapped a hand around the back of Ben’s head and pulled the blond in close. It was now or never. Joe wouldn’t be this brave in the morning if he didn’t take this chance even after knowing how Ben felt. Things said in the dark sometimes didn’t make it to the light. After a moment of staring into Ben’s shocked gaze, Joe pressed his liquid courage infused lips against Ben’s.  
The sensation was pure joy as Ben slanted his lips against Joe’s. The kiss stayed chaste for only a few moments before everything the two had been bottling up raged to the surface. Joe felt Ben’s strong arm wrap around his shoulder and pull him in closer, his tongue dancing against the redhead’s lips in a silent question.  
Joe parted his lips and felt Ben’s tongue slide into his mouth and gently lap against his own before beginning to explore. Joe’s fingers curled in Ben’s wavy locks. After what felt like an eternity of bliss, Joe pulled away from Ben, causing the Brit to whine softly like the feeling of being separated from Joe was a physical ache.  
Joe drank in the sight of the man before him. The high cheeks flushed with pink, and soft lips wet and slightly swollen and a pang of want raced through his core. He slid his hand out of Ben’s hair and moved it around to settle on Ben’s cheek, and his other hand slid to Ben’s waist as his own hazel eyes matched with green ones.  
“It’s you, Ben.” He said with a small chuckle, mimicking the other one’s words. The smile that split Ben’s face was like a chorus of angels. 

The next morning, Joe woke up to the sound of a loud and insistent knocking on the room’s door.  
“I’m awake, will you stop with the pounding already.” His head was hurting a bit. Then he remembered the wine he had drank last night. Then he remembered everything else. Then he remembered he wasn’t in his own room.  
He suddenly became aware of the warm, firm body pressed against his own. The strong back muscles against his chest and the firm ass pressed against his crotch, legs tangled with another set of legs. He was in Ben’s room.  
After their mutual confessions of adoration last night, and kissing, so much kissing, Ben had insisted on Joe staying. They didn’t want to let each other go. Joe went stiff as he realized that whoever was on the other side of that door did not expect his voice from this room.  
He shook Ben, getting an adorable little sleepy sound from the blond as he tried to bury himself further in the blanket that covered the pair.  
“Ben! Wake up! Someone is at the door and I just yelled at them!” Joe said with a slight panic in his voice. This got Ben’s attention and he sat up in bed. Even though they had both reveled in the feeling of finally being able to be honest with each other last night it didn’t mean they were ready to shout it from the roof tops. They didn’t even know what this was exactly.  
“Ben? You uh.. you ok in there?” The distinct accent of a certain Welshman came through the door. Joe could detect a hint of smugness even through the muffling effect of the door.  
Ben reluctantly removed the covers from himself, leaving Joe with his head in his hands laid back in the pillows.  
“Do you regret it?” Ben said quietly as he stood from the bed, still clad in his tight boxer briefs. There was a hint of worry in his eyes as he looked over his shoulder at Joe.  
“Never.” Joe said as he sat up with a look of resolve in his face.  
Ben nodded and went to answer the door, cracking it open to see their costar Gwilym standing there with crossed arms and a look of pure smugness on his face.  
Gwil craned his head a bit to where he could see Joe over Ben’s shoulder. “Morning Joe.” Joe rubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands.  
“We have the group breakfast in a few remember?” Gwil said to both of the guys. “If you want to be presentable I’d skip the quickie and get going. Need to fuel up before filming.” With another smile he started walking down the hallway and said with a laugh, “Rami owes me a tenner!”  
“Twat!” Ben yelled down the hall, before closing the door and debating on whether or not being late and unkempt would be worth a few more kisses. One look at Joe with his bed head ginger hair and hazel eyes and Ben knew it would be worth every single second.


	2. Make It To The Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben had harbored an innocent crush on Joe Mazzello ever since childhood from the first moment he saw him in Jurassic Park. Now that he was working with the man that little innocent crush was becoming anything but. Joe was unlike anyone else he had ever met. He saw beyond the exterior as no one had before. Ben hoped he wouldn’t screw this friendship up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another installment in the life of Hardzzello! This one is about the same events as the previous chapter, only this time we get more of a look into the perspective of one Ben Hardy.

Ben knew he was in deep, deep shit. From the second that Joe Mazzello’s hazel gaze met with his, he knew he was absolutely fucked.  
Ben had harbored a school boy crush on the actor since childhood after seeing him in Jurassic Park as the know it all kid Tim. He’d followed Joe’s career through the years and now he had the honor of getting to be in a movie with the man himself.  
What Ben didn’t anticipate was that his little crush would magnify by a hundred fold after actually meeting and spending time with Joe. Joe was kind, and funny, and was always more interested in Ben’s personality than his looks. This was unlike so many others who usually made sure to comment on Ben’s looks within the first five minutes of meeting him.  
Even Gwilym and Rami had made joking comments about him being a heart throb almost immediately. They had become fast friends nonetheless.  
Joe had told him that his sunglasses looked like something he stole from Tom Cruise on the set of Mission Impossible. Joe was also exceedingly handsome, radiating an understated and underappreciated sense of regality. Even in the most ridiculous John Deacon outfits and hair, Joe managed to be handsome.   
Ben had managed to get through the table reads and rehearsals without too much trouble, but the first week of filming had been nearly pure torture. The first thing they shot for the film was the big Live Aid show. The magnum opus and conclusion of Bohemian Rhapsody. This part was painstakingly reproduced, trying to be as close to the original as possible with a few creative liberties here and there. He had never noticed just how much Deaky and Roger looked at each other until nearly every day he and Joe were staring at each other while playing their instruments.   
Joe being who he was kept making faces at Ben while his back was to the camera. It took everything Ben had to not crack up at the antics and lose his place in the songs.  
Deaky had this habit that Joe had learned from talking with the two original members of Queen who were on set to help them all understand their characters. He would lick his fingers between songs so that they wouldn’t stick on the strings. Apparently Joe had been keeping this fact to himself all throughout the weeks of rehearsals. During a take, Joe brought his fingers to his lips and slid his tongue across them while he faced Ben up on his drum pedestal. A small twitch happened down between his legs at the sight. Ben was exceedingly glad that he was sitting down so no one would have to know that the sight of Joe Mazzello’s tongue running along his fingers had made Ben’s cock spring to life.  
That night was the first night that Ben touched himself while thinking about Joe Mazzello, and it was nowhere near the last. Every day after he had done it he swore he would never do it again. He’d succeed for a few days, but there would be a look or a touch from Joe that would stick with Ben until the only way to calm his mind was to pleasure himself so that he could sleep.  
He’d soldiered on, keeping up the facade that he didn’t harbor these feelings for Joe. He’d joked and laughed with his friends while on the inside he was screaming with the desire to tell Joe how he felt. He could never do it though. He would risk too much. As much as it pained him to keep it contained, he knew that losing Joe as a friend would be unbearable.  
It had been a day like any other, but little did Ben know his whole world would be rocked at the end of it. Ben had noticed at one point that Joe had this thousand yard stare on his face. It looked like there were a million things going on in his head, and none of them were especially good. Ben had ventured to ask his friend if he was ok, but Joe had brushed it off as being tired. Ben was not wholly convinced of that. If Joe wanted to share what was bothering him he would no doubt go to one of the boys to get the feeling off of his chest. The group had become that close over the last months that the rehearsals and filming had been going on.  
That night, Ben had laid in bed worrying about Joe. That look he had earlier made Ben wish that he could kiss away that look and hold the older man close and tell him everything would be alright. He’d imagined that, and the kind of things it might to lead to causing his hand to dip below the waistband of his underclothes as he lay in bed, until he spent himself and fell into a sleep plagued with more sights of that sad look on the man he was coming to love dancing in his head.  
A loud knocking at his door drew Ben half out of sleep. He rubbed at his face, his mind slowly coming around. More knocking came to the door when he didn’t immediately spring up and answer, this time accompanied by the voice that swam through his dreams and Ben wasn’t totally sure that it was real.   
“Benjamin fucking Hardy, open this door!” Ben debated for a moment if he should answer. His need to see Joe overrode his fear of whether or not he was imagining it, and he crawled out of bed. He cracked open the door to see Joe standing there, hair and clothes rumpled. He had a wine bottle clutched in one hand, mostly empty.  
“Oi, mate what gives? It’s the middle of the night.” Ben reached up and rubbed at his eyes, still unable to really believe that Joe was standing, drunk, in his doorway. He waited for the handsome ginger to give him any sort of explanation, but when none came he took it upon himself to keep the chat going.  
“What’s with the wine? Usually you invite me over when you wanna crack one open.” The corner of Ben’s lip turned up in a small smile when he thought about all the times that he and Joe, and usually the other two BoRhap Boys, had stayed up in Joe’s room drinking bad wine and having disputes over whose instrument was hardest or most intricate to learn. Those had generally started early in the evening though and a glance over his shoulder at the clock on the nightstand told him that it was well past midnight. “But it’s like two a.m. and I’m absolutely knackered.”  
It almost killed Ben to say that. He didn’t want Joe Mazzello to go away even if it was probably for the best. Spending time alone with the man would only make his longing grow stronger. He saw Joe’s eyes sharpen just a fraction before the man hissed out.  
“You’re tired? I’m having a crisis Ben!” The look on Joe’s face screamed panic and trouble. Ben couldn’t turn Joe away, not if that look and Joe’s assertion that he was in crisis mode was just a fraction of what Joe had to be feeling. The nearly empty wine bottle was also a concern if that was how this man was trying to handle his problem.  
Ben stepped back and opened the door far enough for Joe to slide past him. Ben had to suppress a shiver when Joe’s arm brushed against his bare torso. It was bad enough when they were clothed and they touched in public. Late night and just the two of them, the contact was much more visceral. He closed the door after Joe was safely inside, and planted himself down on the couch next to Joe, who sat staring at the ugly painting the hotel had decided to put up on the walls.  
The silence stretched on between the two, and it was the most awkward it had ever been between the pair. There was usually an easiness to the two, but this moment was filled with a tension that Ben couldn’t place. He opened his mouth, ready to say something -anything- that would break the deafening silence when Joe started to speak. His voice was strained with sadness and pain.  
“Have you ever had thoughts or feelings about someone you know you shouldn’t? Someone who is so far out of your league that you might as well be playing different games? Someone you don’t want to ruin what you have with? Someone who you know will never ever want you in the same way?”  
Ben watched as Joe took another drink from the bottle that was getting very near empty. A pang of hurt, and something that felt very much like jealousy slid through his chest. Joe was in love with someone who he thought wouldn’t love him back. The idea was preposterous. Who wouldn’t want to be with Joe Mazzello? He was smart, and funny, and handsome. He had the biggest heart that Ben had ever had the pleasure of knowing. Ben found himself speaking before he could stop himself.   
“Yeah I have. Feels like someone is ripping your guts out and stomping them into the floor.” Ben’s voice was just barely a whisper as his gaze stayed trained on Joe’s gorgeous and serious profile. Joe turned his face to Ben’s, and a sad little laugh escaped the ginger’s lips before he upended the bottle and guzzled down what was left in the bottle before setting the bottle on the table next to Ben’s pack of cigarettes and cheap lighter. Ben wished he could have one while they had this chat. It would help him feel less anxious, but he didn’t want to break the conversation to suggest going out onto the balcony.   
“You? Benjamin Hardy, a walking talking vision of perfection could have anyone you wanted. If anyone didn’t want you they’d be outside of their mind.” Ben could swear he saw a flash of something cross Joe’s eyes. Something like uncertainty.  
“But that’s just it! That’s all anyone ever sees! They look at me and they just think I’m this hot guy who would look good on their arm!” Ben felt his body tilting in towards Joe as he spoke, adamant in his speech. “The person I want to be with, who knowing would not want me, is someone who has never cared about my looks. From the moment I met them, I knew they were someone who would see the real me.”  
Ben could see Joe’s eyes staring straight into his, and he could just about see the light fading from them before they turned down and his shoulders slumped down further as if in defeat.  
“They must be very special to have the attention of you then.”  
There was something in the way that Joe had said that. The way his posture changed, and the look of despondence that had overtaken the man. Ben felt his heartbeat kick up about ten notches, and his mouth ran away before he could stop himself.  
“It’s you.” Those two little words that had escaped him now held so much power over Ben. They could, and would, change the course of his very life.   
Joe’s posture suddenly straightened and met Ben with pure shock in those captivating hazel eyes. As quickly as Ben had said those words, he was spilling out more word vomit, trying to salvage the situation as best as he could.  
“I know you don’t feel the same way Joe.” Ben backed away as much as the little couch would let him, trying to make Joe feel more comfortable and not so crowded as he went on. “But I just.. I had to say it. I’m sorry, and I know nothing will ever happen between us but I couldn’t keep watching you think that someone wouldn’t love you.”  
It was the absolute truth. It had felt like a physical ache in his gut watching Joe talk about not being worthy of being loved. The man deserved the world, and it nearly killed Ben to know that it wouldn’t be him who would strive to give that to him. He was trying to piece together what to say next when, in a flash, Joe’s slender and strong hand was cupping the back of his head. He tugged Ben forward with no resistance and held his green gaze locked with Joe’s own hazel ones.  
There was only one small fraction of a second's hesitation before he felt Joe’s lips against his own in a sweet, soft kiss. There was too much space between the two of them. He needed to feel Joe against him. This connection they had their lips was too tenuous and Ben was afraid that it would be too easily broken. He reached around Joe and pressed one of his large hands against Joe’s back and pressed so that the red head was pulled in close to him, nearly chest to chest as their lips moved against one another.   
Ben’s tongue flicked out gently against Joe’s lips, needing the kiss to deepen, to not be so chaste. All of those pushed down feelings were rising up and taking over now. Joe’s warm lips parted for him and Ben wasted no time allowing his tongue to glide into the waiting mouth. Joe tasted faintly of cheap wine that Ben was suddenly very grateful for. If Joe hadn’t broken it open and gotten some courage from it, Ben wouldn’t be here in this moment.  
He felt Joe press his fingers into the back of his head and then the redhead’s tongue was dancing along with his own. It was probably only a few moments, but it felt like an infinite amount of time later when Joe pulled his face away. It was agony of being separated so soon caused a small whimper to escape Ben’s lips. He could feel the blush in his cheeks, and he could feel his pulse in his throat pounding. His eyes flicked over Joe’s features before locking eyes with the older man, seeing relief and happiness there.  
“It’s you, Ben.” Joe said with a small laugh, and a big smile. It was an echo of Ben’s own words of confession. It was short, and sweet and affirmed that he had made the right decision. Ben thought that his cheeks might explode by how wide he smiled. He moved forward and placed his forehead against Joe’s.  
“You bloody idiot.” 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Ben slept more soundly that night than he had for quite some time, and it was a shame when he was drawn from his deep slumber by a hand shaking him. It took a moment for him to grasp what was happening and a little smile crossed his face when he realized that he was being shaken awake by Joe Mazzello. He was so comfortable and warm, with Joe’s chest pressed to his back, their legs tangled together and something poking him gently against his backside. That was a new sensation, and Ben tried to bury his face back into his pillow wanting to explore that feeling a bit more.  
“Ben! Wake up! Someone is at the door and I just yelled at them!” Ben’s eyes opened, and he sat up quickly, almost toppling over as his and Joe’s legs were still wrapped in each other. Ben turned his head and studied Joe. There was a look of panic in the man’s eyes that matched the note of hysteria in his voice.  
Ben understood what Joe was feeling. They had barely even begun to explore what this all could mean for them. They hadn’t explored it at all really except for their whispered confessions and copious amounts of making out before falling asleep in Ben’s bed.  
“Ben? You uh.. you ok in there?” The sound of Gwilym’s distinct voice came muffled through the door. Ben was fairly sure he heard just the barest hint of amusement in the man’s voice.  
He reluctantly pulled away from Joe and stood from the bed, still only clad in his tight underwear. He looked over his shoulder at Joe and saw that for a brief moment, the panic had been overtaken by a glint of desire.  
“Do you regret it?” Ben asked softly, a twinge of doubt in the back of his brain. He was scared that Joe might backtrack, or back out now that someone was aware of this.  
“No.” The answer was a simple one, but the look on Joe’s face spoke volumes. It had happened, and now they were going to deal with whatever happened next. No turning back.  
Ben gave a little nod, and padded across the room, not bothering with pants or a shirt and opened the door to reveal Gwilym Lee as expected. There was a smirk set on the man’s face as he took in the sight and peeked over Ben’s shoulder to see Joe sitting up in the bed. Joe was still fully dressed in the pajamas he had come over in, so not nearly as scandalous as it could have been.  
“Morning Joe.” Gwil said with a way too chipper tone for this time in the morning. “We have the group breakfast in a few, remember?” He said as his eyes went back and forth between the two, that bloody smirk never leaving his face. “If you want to be presentable I’d skip the quickie and get going. Need to fuel up before filming.”  
Ben’s brows scrunched together in a scowl at the teasing that Gwil was giving them, but there was also a sigh of relief when there wasn’t any sign of disgust on the man’s face. Gwil gave a little wave, and backed up before heading down the hallway. Ben watched the man go with a roll of his eyes at the man’s strut. He was getting ready to close the door when he heard Gwil say, “Rami owes me a tenner!”  
“Twat!” Ben shouted down the hall after the man. He and Rami had some sort of bet going about Joe and Ben? He’d have to ask about it at some point, probably at breakfast, to get that all sorted out.   
He shut the door, and turned around to see that Joe was still sitting up in the bed and rubbing at his eyes, trying to get as conscious as he could without coffee. They would need to get ready and leave soon if they wanted to make themselves more presentable before meeting with the other BoRhap crew. Ben looked over Joe, with his ginger hair sticking up on one side, eyes still a bit sleepy and thought that they really didn’t need to get all prettied up for breakfast. They were just going to head to set after that and get all dolled up by the costume department anyway.  
He stalked back over to the bed, a lascivious grin on his face, and Joe’s eyes widened at the sight. Ben crawled across the bed, and wrapped a large hand around the nape of Joe’s neck and pulled the man forward for a nice good morning kiss.   
Breakfast could wait. He had something much better to taste right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed seeing these events unfold! Please scream at me in the comments below if you liked it. Follow me on tumblr at the same name as on here!


	3. No Matter If The World Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a rough year and a half since Joe and Ben confessed their love for each other. It’s hard to be apart so much that it makes your heart ache. The time they do get to spend together, they cherish above all else. They’ve managed to keep it under wraps, and the bliss of privacy is something they are grateful for. Until that peace is shattered, and they’re forced to make a decision that will change their entire world.

Ben smiled as he scrolled through his dashboard on tumblr. He had made himself a secret account on the platform after he and Joe had begun the saga of Hardzzello on Instagram as people had come to call them. To everyone who followed their accounts, it was just a gag. A running joke with both Joe and Ben, along with the other BoRhap crew. Mostly Gwil. He seemed to be the one who delighted the most in the content.   
That’s probably because he knew that Joe and Ben were faking it for camera, but behind the scenes… it was all real. He had been the one who had discovered Joe in Ben’s bed one morning during the film’s shooting. He had encouraged them all along the way, and respected their wishes to be private about it, besides the whole Cardy B/Insta relationship thing. The others who knew were also supportive, but Gwil had taken it to the next level and even covered for them when they wanted to sneak off for privacy.  
Ben was diving into the Hardzzello tag, seeing all the cute images, and gifs that the fans had made up. He generally avoided the fanfiction, because that was a whole different level that he didn’t want to delve into. It was one thing to see adorably edited photos and appreciation. It was totally different to read about himself and his boyfriend doing god knows what.  
There was a general approval he had seen among fans when it came to all the Instagram photos, and videos and stories. Sure, there had been a few people who were mean about it, but Ben just blocked them so he wouldn’t have to deal with their negativity.  
Seeing all of the positive comments across the internet made a small hope blossom in Ben’s chest. It was a hope that someday, he and Joe could be public with their feelings for each other, but for real and not just for likes on social media. They had decided to keep their relationship private, at least, for the time being. It had been over a year since that night where Joe had drunkenly stumbled to Ben’s room in the middle of the night during the filming of Bohemian Rhapsody. Ironically, it had been a very much sober, if sleepy, Ben who had confessed his feelings for the older man first.  
It had been a rough year for the both of them. Ben had never really put much stock into his sexuality. He had always been with women because that was who he had been attracted to. He’d also harbored a small crush on Joe for nearly two decades before meeting him in person, so Ben figured he’d just never met a man he’d wanted to be with.  
Joe though. Poor Joe had struggled. He had never been attracted to a man before, and that feeling for Ben had been so alien to him. He’d always been straight, and it had been a rough journey to accepting it for what it was. Ben had never doubted Joe’s feelings for him, and he understood the emotional turmoil that the ginger was going through. What hurt the worst was watching Joe be filled with doubt and pain. Watching them in the studio as they filmed, you would never have known. Joe was a consummate professional at his job. He was an incredibly gifted, and talented actor who took everything in stride.   
When filming ended, it had been like pure torture. The two of them were going off on separate journeys. Ben was starting up a new movie almost immediately after and Joe would be on the other side of the world doing press tours.   
They texted every single day, without fail. They face timed whenever they could, but it wasn’t the same. They both felt the ache of the other one’s absence.  
This was when Cardy B was born. In all honesty, Ben thought Joe’s attachment to the cut out was ever so slightly unnerving, but it had given rise to the Hardzzello saga that was so loved by the fans. Ben could understand Joe wanting it to feel like Ben was there with him. It was when Joe folded it up in his suitcase and brought it home that Ben had resolved to burn the thing at the first possible chance.  
Ben was in New York for fashion week, but that was more of an excuse to stay with Joe than for the actual shows. He was currently lounging on Joe’s couch, while Joe was in his little office working on a new screenplay. As much as Ben wanted to go in there and distract the man with kisses and cuddles and so much more, he knew that Joe was really invested in his current project. He also knew that after tonight’s show was over, he would have Joe to himself for a few days. The pair had set aside some days after the fashion week was over for just the two of them to spend together.  
“Ben! Benny!” Ben was startled away from his zoned out state by the sound of his lover’s voice shouting from down the hall. It wasn’t a good shout, not one of excitement or joy. It sounded nervous and panicked.  
Ben sprang up and jogged down the hall to Joe’s office, stopping in the doorway, his eyes scanning over the ginger for any sign of hurt. Joe wasn’t bleeding and everything looked to be in order. Joe was still in the pajamas he’d thrown on that morning, not bothering to get dressed because he wasn’t going anywhere until the show later that night. Joe spin around in his wheelie chair and there was shock, panic, and rage all across his handsome face.  
“What’s wrong love?” Ben asked as he moved further into the room. It was only when he’d gotten to where Joe was sitting in front of his laptop that Ben noticed what was on the screen.   
It was a picture of the two of them, but it was one he had never seen before, even though he recognized where the picture was taken. It was from a couple of days earlier, after he had walked in one of the runway shows he had come to fashion week for. The picture was of him and Joe in a private moment. They had snuck off to a little alleyway after Ben had a cigarette outside of the after party and had decided that a little bit of making out was in order. Joe had gushed about how hot Ben had been while walking down that runway, and whispering very naughty things into Ben’s ear between kisses along his neck and jaw.   
This picture very clearly showed Joe’s hands on Ben’s ass, and his lips at Ben’s neck.  
“What the ever loving fuck is going on?” Ben asked as he bent over to stare at the picture, his own face a mirror of his lover’s with shock and outrage.  
“Someone is blackmailing is.” Joe said with so much ice in his voice, it made a shiver run down the Brit’s spine in an unpleasant way. Joe was always so calm, except when he had panicked about the whole ‘I’m in love with my best friend and I’m not good enough for him’ thing. Even then it had burned with fire and passion, not this coldness that now radiated from him.  
“Blackmailing? What are we going to do?” Ben said, his own voice lowering as the shock started to wear off and anger started to take over.  
“The email says they want to talk to discuss terms, but I imagine they want some sort of monetary pay out to keep the pictures to themselves.” Joe said flatly. He reached up and took one of Ben’s large strong hands in his own slender one, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. “Most likely, if we don’t pay up, they’ll sell them to the highest bidder.”  
Ben suspected nothing less. When you were public figure, there was always the threat of your private life coming to the light. There were people who thought that just because you put your face on a giant screen for the world to see, it meant that you were no longer allowed to have your own life.  
The pair had always been so careful, trying to keep their relationship away from the limelight, and playing the pictures and videos on instagram as a joke. They weren’t ashamed of their relationship with each other, but it was something they did for themselves. The love they shared was sacred, and they didn’t want or need to become the object of public scrutiny.  
Ben held his gaze with Joe’s and they both realized that this was essentially a no win situation.   
“From how I see it, we’ve got three options.” Ben said slowly as his mind churned over those thoughts. “We give in to them, but always have to live with knowing they could come back at any time for another pay out.” With the hand not holding Joe’s he rubbed at his jaw. “We do nothing and they sell those photos to a sleazy tabloid or,” The blond knelt in front of Joe, and placed his hand against Joe’s cheek, his thumb caressing the older man’s cheek. “We tell everyone ourselves, before that slimy git can do it just to spite us”  
Joe lightly rubbed his stubbly jaw against the palm of Ben’s hand before turning to place a sweet kiss against it. His mind, and no doubt Ben’s, was churning over and over with each of those prospects. Their choices were very limited, and none of them ended with them being able to have their private romance stay intact for long. Joe had really hoped that they would be able to hold on to their privacy for just a while longer, at least until after his current project was finished. He didn’t want to have to answer questions from his coworkers, or the press or even from family members who didn’t already know.   
Telling his mom and siblings had been hard enough. Never once did Joe think that his family would love him any less, but that little niggle of doubt in the back of his mind that they would see him differently had still been there. Ben had only informed his parents when they hit their one year anniversary, and when Joe asked him why Ben had only said,  
“Because now they can’t brush you off as just a fling.” That had worried Joe just a little bit, because that made it sound like his parents would not be happy with this arrangement. Ben had then quickly explained that his parents would have reacted the same way if Joe had been a girl. The two of them being together for a year set a precedent for a long term commitment.  
Of course, the BoRhap crew knew all about it. Well, Gwil, Rami and Lucy all knew. Everyone, friends and family, had known to keep their mouths shut and respect Ben and Joe’s rights to privacy.   
Then along came this sorry excuse for a human who wanted to shatter that peace by posting the pictures or getting something they wanted. It was infuriating to both men, and they could feel the energy crackling off of one another as they stared at each other in silence.   
“How long have we got?” Ben said as his hand moved away from Joe’s cheek as he rose and clambered into his lover’s lap, straddling him and burying his face against the man’s neck. The comfort was more than needed right now. Joe’s arms wrapped around Ben, one automatically resting just above Ben’s butt, and the other at the back of his neck.  
“They said they want a response by this Friday.” Joe said against the blond’s shoulder. The email had been sent a week ago, but Joe had been so backlogged with work that he hadn’t seen it until now. “We have to reach a decision in two days.”  
The pair went quiet again with just the sound of their breathing filling the room. They held each other tight, both wishing they could wake up from this nightmare. It was a futile wish. This was their reality. They had to make a choice, one that they didn’t want to deal with.  
Ben was the first to pull back. He leaned in and kissed Joe, a sweet and chaste thing that sent butterflies through Joe’s stomach. It had been over a year and he still felt them with every single kiss.  
“I love you, Joseph Mazzello.” Ben whispered against his boyfriend’s lips. “I love you with everything I have inside of me, and I will keep loving you no matter if the world knows or not.”  
Joe felt a tear begin to well up in his eyes. He and Ben had told each other these things before. The difference this time was that now, it wasn’t about keeping their love for each other to themselves. It was about staying strong together in the face of the possibility that it would no longer be secret.  
Joe’s voice was hoarse when he answered Ben’s declaration. “I love you, Benjamin Jones. I love you more than anything in this world, and will always love you no matter who knows it.”   
With these words spoken between them, they had come to an agreement. They would tell the world about themselves and what they meant to each other. They just had to figure out a way to do it. People were so used to their flirting and banter online that it could be hard to get people to believe them when they said it was actually real.  
It took a long time for them to speak again, the silence only broken by the sound of an occasional kiss as they held each other, reveling in what was going to be the end of their own little bubble of privacy.   
“If we’re going to do this,” Joe said with a small smile on his face, “We need it to be the biggest, most obnoxious fuck you to that bastard as possible.” He nodded his head toward the black screen of his laptop.   
Ben was a fan of this idea and a light went off in his head. He knew just how they were going to do this, and it was just a matter of making a phone call.

That night, Joe couldn’t stop fidgeting in his seat. He’d been so nervous all night, and he was sure that every camera around him could see it etched into his face. The fashion show that Ben was walking in tonight was one of the bigger ones, and Joe was surrounded in the first row by so many A-list names that he felt like a fish out of water. He’d been shocked when so many of them knew who he was. It shouldn’t have surprised him so much. He’d been in an Oscar winning picture just the previous year. The thing was still showing in theaters in some places.  
The fashion show was being recorded and was broadcasting live on the internet.   
As nervous as he was, he couldn't help but be all smiles when Ben came strutting down the runway, looking like a god in a suit that probably cost more than a couple months of rent on Joe’s first New York apartment. That was his man. His Benny Boy. The man he loved more and more every single day.  
Way too quickly, the show was over and the line of models were making their last pass of the runway, with everyone applauding. Ben was the last one in the line, walking with the designer himself. Ben held a microphone in one hand and he and the designer stopped near the end of the runway. The designer gestured towards Ben, who waved at the crowd and held up his hands for everyone to calm down.  
“Hello everyone! I’m so glad you all came to the show, I hope you liked it!” Ben was smiling as people cheered. “This might seem a little bit strange but I have an announcement I want to make and our host for the evening was gracious enough to let me do that here tonight.” He gestured for people to clap in appreciation.  
Joe felt his heart rise up in his throat. This was it. In the next couple of minutes his whole world was going to shift once again. It was now going to be him and Ben against the world. It comforted Joe to know that at least they were going to be facing it together.  
“For the last year and a half,” Ben said to the crowd, “I’ve been in a relationship.” There were a few gasps from the crowd, and some whispers here and there. People loved to gossip.  
“We’ve been keeping our relationship to ourselves, because we wanted to be able to enjoy our life in peace.” There was some applause around the room as people agreed with him. There were many celebrities who wanted to do just the same.  
“But some arsehole out there took photos of us in a private moment and decided the best course was to email them to us along with a demand to negotiate a price for their silence.” There were literal hisses and boos from the crowd. Some people were even yelling obscenities. Joe’s lips twitched up, and he fought the urge to yell out his own insults along with them.  
“We had a discussion about what to do and we decided that instead of giving in to that vile person or allowing them to sell us to the highest bidder, we were going to share it ourselves.” Ben looked over to where Joe sat, and Joe’s heart started to pound so furiously that he could feel it in his ears and the flush that accompanied it.  
“I’d like to ask that the love of my life come join me, so we can put the rumors to rest.”   
This was really it. The quiet in the room was deafening. At a show where noise and visuals were so permeating, it was unsettling for there to be nothing but the craning of heads and whispers as everyone tried to figure out who it was that this gorgeous man could be talking about.  
Joe slowly stood up from his seat, and gasps rang out all around him. It was unbelievable to these people. Ben Hardy’s secret lover was also a man. His co-star from the movie that had brought them together. He hopped up on the stage as gracefully as he could manage and went to stand by Ben. He had dressed up in a suit of his own. It wasn’t on the same level as the one that Ben wore, but it fit him in the right ways. He’d tamed his hair, and he’d cleaned up his stubble to a more fashionable level.   
Even Joe had to admit that in this moment, they made a striking duo. Ben passed the microphone over to Joe who took it with a smile for his boyfriend and he looked out over the crowd. This was just another interview. It was what he had told himself over and over again.  
“For those of you who don’t know, I’m Joe Mazzello. Yes, I’m that annoying kid from Jurassic Park. I’m also the idiot who didn’t know that perm was short for permanent when I agreed to have it done to my hair for the movie that I met this man making.” He turned back to his lover and saw that he was all smiles at the memory. That story never got old.  
“And this wonderful man next to me, he fell in love with me anyways, perm and all.” He reached out and took Ben’s hand in his own, like he had a thousand times before. “And I fell in love with him, even though he looked ridiculous in a school girl outfit.” These little tidbits received some little titters of laughter from the audience.  
“And to the asshole who decided that a pay out was worth more than our privacy we would just like to say,” Ben leaned in close enough so that the next words they both spoke were picked up.  
“Shove it you bloody wanker!” This was the cue for the sound guy to start playing the recording of Boss Ass Bitch. Joe held up his middle finger while Ben held up two fingers towards the camera in front of them, the one that was live-streaming and recording the event. Joe dropped the mic, and he and Ben walked forward like they owned that runway. They did their version of the BAB dance that Joe had perfected during the filming of BoRhap. Ben was not normally a dancer. He was actually pretty terrible at it, but he made a very good effort at it on this night. When they walked back to where they had started, Ben grabbed Joe around the waist, and dipped him low before bringing their lips together in a kiss that was anything but chaste. No one was going to mistake this for anything other than what it was.  
The crowd erupted in cheers and exclamations of surprise. They rose up again, their lips still against each other before they parted and pressed their foreheads together, smiling now that it was over. They were out.  
They waved to the crowd and turned to make their way back up the runway and backstage, their fingers interlaced as they did.

The rest of that night had been a blur. There were tons of congratulations from the models and crew backstage. There were shouted questions from the paparazzi as they left the venue, none of which they answered. They let their stunt speak for itself.   
When they made it back to Joe’s apartment, it was a flurry of lips and tongue and teeth. Clothing being dropped anywhere and everywhere. There were make outs on almost every surface they stumbled into on their way to the bedroom, and there were a lot of them.  
Once they had finished making each other squirm and moan and cry out in ecstasy, they lay in the bed, naked and panting wrapped in each other’s arms. They stayed like that all night, both of them ignoring their phones as they lit up with notifications, texts, and phone calls. It could all wait until the next morning. This night was for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please scream at me in the comments and let me know what you think!


	4. One Night In Catalina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past few months have been hard for Joe and Ben. They hate being apart from each other, especially when their relationship is so new. This vacation in Catalina is the perfect way for them to make the next step in their relationship, and they both hope that they won’t screw it up.
> 
> THIS CHAPTER CONTAIN GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF TWO MEN HAVING SEX. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

Catalina. It was a perfect little getaway for Ben and Joe. Ben was in Italy, filming for the Netflix movie he had was scheduled to shoot almost immediately after BoRhap had wrapped.  
Joe thought it was the perfect opportunity to get some romantic time with his lover. How much more romantic could you get than gorgeous Italy?  
He and Ben had been taking things relatively slow since they had admitted their feelings for each other, at least in the physical department. That stuff was uncharted territory for both of them. The intricacies of being intimate with another man was something that neither of them had ever experienced before. They both knew they wanted it to become more. They wanted to take that leap into the part that would join them so much more closely.  
They had brought each other ecstasy before, no doubt, but it had only been with their hands and mouths. It had been absolutely glorious when Ben knelt down between Joe’s legs for the first time and had wrapped his lips around his cock. Sure, there was some bit of awkwardness as Ben tried to figure how exactly he was supposed to do it, but the man was a very quick learner. Those pouty lips were practically made to be on Joe’s body, anywhere and everywhere.  
This night had started like any other the two had spent on this vacation, except that there was a sense of sadness around them as it had to end so much sooner than they wanted it to. Ben had to get back to filming and Joe had obligations state side that he couldn’t ignore.  
The two lay in the hotel room’s bed, the tv going on in the background, but they were more focused on one another. They were dressed for bed, Joe in a t shirt and soft pajama pants, while Ben was in those boxer briefs that perfectly highlighted every line and bulge. They were kissing lazily, hands roaming along each other’s bodies.  
Ben pulled back a bit to stare into his lover’s hazel eyes.  
“Joe, I love you and..” he swallowed quickly, and licked at his lips, “And I want to take things further with you.” His hand slid up Joe’s side and back down again. “I want you. I want you inside of me. I want us to connect like we haven’t before.” His words were soft, barely above a whisper.  
Joe’s eyes widened a bit at the blond’s words, a mixture of nerves and excitement flooding through his veins. “Are you sure Benny?”  
Lines appeared between the younger man’s brow as confusion crossed his expression. “ You don’t want to?”  
“No! I mean, of course I do! I want to do all those things with you, but are sure it’s what you want?” The redhead was quick to assuage his boyfriend’s anxiety. Ben moved forward and captured his lover’s lips with his own before turning the pair so that Joe was on top of him, his legs spreading so that Joe’s leg rested between them. The blond rolled his hips and made a little mewling sound into his lover’s mouth as his groin rubbed against the thigh resting against it.  
Ben slid his hands under the hem of Joe’s shirt and tugged it up. Joe acquiesced, and pulled up so that his shirt could be pulled from his body. It had taken Joe a decent amount of time to stop being self conscious about his body around Ben. It had been ok when they were in a dressing room together on set, but once they were alone and doing intimate things, doubt started up in his mind again.  
Ben had been quick to reassure Joe that he found the man desirable, taking care to worship every inch of skin that Joe would allow him to over and over again. Now the ginger felt at ease being naked with the blond, though it had taken many nights of Ben’s hands and lips and whispered words to get there.  
Joe leaned down as if he were going to kiss Ben but at the last second he moved and nipped at his boyfriend’s neck, getting a surprised little yelp and buck of hips in response. He chuckled lightly and soothed the spot with a small kiss. Joe’s hands roamed up and down along Ben’s sides, fingertips brushing along the taut skin, and Ben’s hands slid down Joe’s back until they slid under the hem of the pajama pants and settling against his ass and squeezing so that Joe’s growing arousal was pressed against his thigh.  
“Please Joe.. I.. need you.” Ben whined out softly. They had barely begun and already he was begging for it. Nerves and excitement over the prospect of what was to come made every sensation so much greater.  
Without a word, Joe leaned back after giving Ben’s jawline a sweet kiss. He pulled back all of the way and reluctantly climbed off of the bed and went to his suitcase in the corner and pulled something out of the front pocket. He moved around the bed to the nightstand, and placed a roll of condoms and a bottle of lube there.  
“Somebody hoped they would get lucky on this trip.” Ben said with a little smirk as he rose up onto his elbows, the bulge of his erection outlined against his boxer briefs.  
“Always be prepared.” Joe answered with a smirk of his own and held up two fingers next to his brow in a salute.  
This drew a laugh from Ben, which was cut off when Joe hooked his thumbs under the hem of his pants and shoved them down before kicking them aside. The sight of Joe naked took Ben’s breath away. Joe was a gorgeous man, much as he downplayed it. Before Joe could move back on to the bed, Ben sat up and turned so that each of his legs as on either side of his lover’s. Without a word, he leaned forward and ran his tongue along the shaft of Joe’s hard cock.  
Joe shuddered and one hand went to the top of Ben’s head, his fingers running through the locks of Ben’s hair. The Brit brought his hands up and gripped Joe’s hips as he took the head of Joe’s dick into his mouth and sucked gently before pressing down and taking more of him into his mouth. Joe’s other hand rested against Ben’s shoulder, bracing himself as lips and toy he engulfed him over and over again, making pleasure course through his veins.  
Joe cursed under his breath as he felt his stomach muscles begin to tighten, and with a feat of self control he wasn’t sure he could pull off he moved back. His breath came in pants as he stared down at his unearthly beautiful lover, with swollen wet pink lips, his eyes filled with lust and need.  
And it was all for Joe. For all of the things he wanted from, and with, Joe. It made the ginger’s heart squeeze with affection even in this heated moment of passion.  
“Lay back down Benny baby. I’m going to take care of you.” Joe said with a little press against Ben’s shoulder. Ben complied and scooted back to where he had been with his head resting against the pillows, legs splayed open and inviting. The blond’s erection was straining against his underwear, which Joe was going to quickly remedy. He knelt between his boyfriend’s legs and ran his hands along them lovingly.  
His fingers rested just above the hem of the offending clothing for only a moment before he tugged them down, Ben lifting his butt and helping Joe get them off and tossing them to the side with the redhead’s pajama pants.  
Joe reached down and ran the bare tips of his fingers along the line of Ben’s thick length from tip to base, over his heavy sac and further down. A shiver ran along his lover’s body at the contact. Joe grabbed the bottle of lube from the nightstand, and popped the cap to dribble some of the liquid onto his fingers.  
“Relax baby, ok?” He said as he placed a fingertip against Ben’s entrance and pressed it into the man. He felt the muscles tense around it, and ran his other hand up and down Ben’s thigh while whispering small words of encouragement to the blond.  
“It’s ok baby, I’m gonna make you feel so good, but you need to relax ok?” He soothed, as he watched Ben’s curled fists release the sheets he had been clinging to. Ben’s head was thrown back against the pillows, his cheeks, neck, and chest flushed with desire.  
Joe’s fingers kept working at opening up his boyfriend, a second soon joining the first, probing and trying to find that sweet spot that he knew would make Ben forget all about the discomfort. It took a few tries at different angles but he found it soon enough. He knew because Ben’s back arched up off of the bed with a small cry of pleasure.  
“You like that Benny?” Joe said with a little smirk, pleased with himself for the feelings he was giving his lover. His fingers rubbed against the spot one more time, and Ben’s reaction did not disappoint. There was a small cry along with some cursing from the Brit.  
“Dammit Joseph, just get your dick in me already!” Ben said with frustration, born from his need to be closer to Joe, to be joined with him.  
“So impatient. I love it.” Joe slid his fingers out of Ben and reached over to grab one of the condoms there. He quickly opened it, even though his fingers were shaking. He’d been toying with Ben a little yes, but this was it. Joe was going to join with Ben in the most intimate way that they could. He felt nerves start to wrack his body as he rolled the rubber onto himself. He was scared he’d hurt his Benny Boy. He feared that Ben wouldn’t like it or that he would disappoint in some way.  
Joe’s eyes strayed down to Ben’s face and the look of pure love and adoration mixed with want and lust sent a wave of bravery and confidence through him. This was his boyfriend, his lover, someone who would love him no matter what. With a renewed sense of self, he positioned himself between his lover’s thighs, his hands pulling up Ben’s knees to make the way easier. He guided himself to his lover’s entrance, a hand on the man’s hip, thumb caressing the bone there.  
Joe pressed his length into Ben, his eyes trained on the blond’s face, watching for any sign of discomfort. He wanted this to be just as good for Ben as it was for him.  
Ben’s eyes fluttered closed and his back arched slightly as more of Joe pushed into him. The sensation was strange, and it hurt a bit but also felt amazingly good. He didn’t know if it was from the act itself or what it represented, but either way it was bringing Ben pleasure. It took a few more seconds, but finally Joe was as far into Ben as he could be. He stayed there for a moment, both of them adjusting to the feeling.  
Ben’s eyes opened and looked up into Hoe’s handsome face. There was an intensity there. There was lust, mixed with love and worry. Ben unclamped the sheets he had unconsciously grasped and reached out to Joe who leaned down instinctively. He rested an elbow on either side of Ben to keep his weight off of him. Ben grasped each of Joe’s biceps and wrapped his legs around the ginger’s waist.  
“Please.. fuck me Joe, I need to feel you moving inside of me.” Ben pled into his lover’s ear. His hips rolled and a gasp escaped his lips at the little jolt of pleasure the movement gave him.  
Hearing Ben beg him made a shudder roll through Joe’s body from the top of his head, straight through the cock that was being squeezed by his lover. What else could he do but give in to the beautiful man’s request. He rolled his own hips, slow at first but quickly gaining speed as he heard the whimpers and mewling sounds that came from Ben. His lips found the blond’s neck, and he teased and toyed with the warm flesh. He found a steady rhythm with the Brit, their hips moving together like they had done this a thousand times before. It was as if they were made to be together like this.  
Their bodies were slick with sweat, their breaths coming in pants and groans as they moved. Joe’s body was chasing release, and from the way Ben was writhing beneath him he knew he was feeling the same. Joe lifted his torso up, using one hand next to Ben’s head to steady himself while the other reached down between them and grasped Ben’s cock and began to stroke him with every thrust of his hips. He was aching to see his lover come undone beneath him. Ben cried out and his hips twitched, stomach muscles flexing.  
“That’s right Benny, I want you to come for me. Baby I want to see your cum paint your stomach.” The words rolled out of Joe’s mouth without thinking. Seeing Ben like this made the naughty side come out in him. The side that wanted to say and do all sorts of dirty things to the angelic man beneath him.  
The words clearly had an effect on Ben as the blond grasped the forearm next to his head with one hand while the other buried itself in Joe’s hair. Ben’s head tilted back, his lips parted in a cry as his muscles clenched down around Joe and his cock twitched as he came, splattering the sticky white cum all over Joe’s hand and his own stomach. Joe glanced down and the sight of Ben’s cum across their bodies sent him over the edge. His own eyes fluttered, and a low groan escaped him as he thrust a few more times into Ben before his hips stilled, and his own stomach clenched, his own release wracking through his body.  
Joe collapsed, having just barely enough presence of mind to fall to the side, his cock sliding out of Ben in the process. They both lay there, tangled up in each other, the only sound in the room the faint drone of the tv and their own panting breaths. It felt like hours that they laid there, but it was truly only a few minutes until they caught their breaths. Joe rose from the bed on shaky legs and stumbled into the bathroom. He disposed of the condom and returned to Ben with a wet cloth after rinsing himself off.  
The bed was empty and he looked out to the balcony of the room, and saw his lover standing on it clad only in those boxer briefs, staring out at the ocean with wisps of smoke curling up around him. Joe’s lips curled up at the cliche before him. He threw on his discarded pajama pants and joined Ben, their gazes looking over the dark waters of the ocean and the ocean of stars above it. There was a peaceful silence that stretched between the two of them as they stood there, their arms and hips brushing against one another occasionally as what they had just done washed through both of them. Ben eventually stubbed out the cigarette held in his hand and leaned his head on the slightly shorter man’s shoulder. Joe turned his head and placed a soft kiss into the blond’s short curls.  
“I love you Joe. I wish this night never had to end.” Ben said quietly, like speaking would shatter the peace that the pair had.  
Joe felt a pang run through him. He was already missing Ben, missing the intimacy they had just shared even though his love was standing right next to him. They’d just taken a massive leap in their relationship and the next morning they would be separating again.  
Joe turned and wrapped his arms around his lover, Ben mirroring him, eyes locked onto each other. “I love you too Benny. The night isn’t over just yet. Let’s not waste it thinking about when it will end. Let’s just.. Enjoy it.” He leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss against Ben’s lips. Knowing this would be the last night they would spend together for a while made it all the sweeter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE SCREAM AT ME ON TUMBLR AND IN THE COMMENTS


	5. There But For A Twist Of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Joe, Ben, Rami, and Gwilym were asked by the remaining members of Queen to help raise money for The Mercury Phoenix Trust, they never imagined that it would mean trying not to embarrass themselves in front of thousands of people. Here’s hoping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this little idea has been floating around in my brain for awhile now. I thought it was too cute to just pass up!

Being ‘out’ was harder than Ben and Joe could have imagined it to be. They had expected the press, and headlines, and the paparazzi. Just not to the extent that they had been experiencing it. The amount of attention the two received felt disproportionate to what they perceived their importance to society to be. Yes, they had been in a movie that had skyrocketed to the top, winning award after award. Yes, they had both been in beloved movie franchises and tv series.   
The prolonged interest in their relationship was the most shocking. It wasn’t like many other relationships that were talked about in Hollywood. There would be a flurry of excitement for about three-point-five seconds and everyone would move on to the next new thing. Joe and Ben had somehow managed to become the poster children for gay couples in the movie industry. Something neither of them wanted in the very slightest.  
Joe and Ben now finally understood why Freddie Mercury had decided to keep his diagnosis to himself. They wanted everyone to just shut up about their relationship and focus on their careers and projects instead. Joe had already decided that if he ever found out who exactly it was that had sent him those pictures, he would kick the bastard in the nuts and damn the consequences.  
Joe and Ben had been keeping their PDA to a minimum, even after coming out. Any photos showing affection between each other were restricted to their own social media accounts, and that of their friends. Their relationship was still theirs and they weren’t going to let other people profit from it. And still, they couldn’t escape the articles online and in print. The fact that they didn’t show affection in public had made some people think it had been a PR stunt.

‘If this so called relationship is real, then why are they still trying to hide it?’

‘Actors Joe Mazzello and Ben Hardy refuse to comment on their relationship status.’

The ones that really hurt the most were comments made from fans saying that if Ben were going to be with a man he could do better than Joe. Ben was leading man material, a gorgeous sculpted being of light. Joe was never the leading man, always part of an ensemble and his looks were passable, if not just above average. That had thrown Joe back into the pit of those old insecurities that he had felt before and during the early parts of their relationship.   
It had taken a lot of encouragement from Ben, and many long nights of intense love making to get those thoughts to go away again. This was made easier by the fact that he and Ben had moved in together, in a sense. Ben had moved his possessions over from his London flat after selling it and relocated it all to Joe’s home in New York. Now when they were between projects, they could be together all the time instead of having to schedule it like it was another project.  
“I’m starting to have second thoughts.” Joe said as he studied the sheets of music in front of him. Ben looked up from his own sheets of music and stared in confusion at his boyfriend. The negative press had also gotten to him as well, somewhat. He had suffered through the panic that Joe had gone through with all of the comments and sometimes feared that Joe would break one day.   
“What do you mean?” Ben said, trying to keep his tone calm. That doubt started creeping up in the back of his head. It was insane of him to think that this wonderful man would leave him. Still, Ben couldn’t help it when the thought took root.  
“I mean, I love Brian and Roger. They’re great guys, but I don’t know why in the world we ever agreed to play live for this event.” Joe held up the papers he held in his hand. Joe, Ben, Gwil, and Rami had been really flattered when Brian May and Roger Taylor had asked them to perform a Queen song live for a big benefit concert they were putting on to raise money for The Mercury Phoenix Trust. The cause was a really great one and who the hell would say no to an offer like that.  
The guys had thought that Brian and Roger had meant for them to come onstage and sing along while they and the touring band played. Maybe do backing vocals for a song, but no. They were expected to actually perform a song as a band.   
They’d learned the instruments and how to play the songs for the movie so now they just needed to brush up on the skills.  
That was the excuse that Brian had given to them anyways. They’d already agreed to the gig, and had made plans in their schedules to do the damn thing by the time that little piece of news had gotten to all of them. Thank god for the internet, because Youtube had every imaginable tutorial on how to play Queen. Ben and Joe had a slight upper hand in that since they lived together, they could practice together. Ben already had his own drum set, having gotten one after filming Bohemian Rhapsody and had been playing in his spare time.  
Joe actually found that kind of hot. It reminded him of their days filming, and Ben worked up a nice sweat that made his skin turn a fetching shade of pink. Joe had immediately gone down to a music shop in the neighborhood and found himself a bass guitar that was similar enough to the kind that John Deacon had played. It would do for practicing, and Queen had stated they would be loaning the boys instruments for the performance.   
Gwil had nearly had a heart attack when that news came down. He was relieved that he would be playing a replica of the Red Special and not the real one.  
They were in the living room, where Ben had set up his drum kit, and were getting ready to have a video conference practice with Gwil and Rami. Well, as much as you could over video conferences. Delays in sending video meant that everyone just individually played their part, and they would sing the harmonies as best they could.   
“Why in the world did we pick this song?” Joe said after they had finished doing the actual practice part. Now the group had moved on to having a more general discussion about their parts. He and Ben were curled up on their couch with the laptop on the coffee table in front of them. Joe had his knees pulled up to his chest, his head leaning on Ben’s shoulder.   
“Because it was the one song we all thought we had an actual chance of not faffing up.” said Gwil with a tired smile. He was unfortunately still in the UK at the moment, and as such, it was much later in the day, more like middle of the night, than it was for Joe, Ben, and Rami. It was hard, but they had managed to work around schedules to have these meetings for the last couple of weeks. The gig was fast approaching in the next few weeks and each day brought more and more nerves.   
Ben had been engrossed in his phone for a while, which was unusual for the blond Brit. Normally he was super into these discussions. Out of nowhere he pipes up in the middle of the other men talking about which parts they thought were going to be the most difficult and which ones to work on.  
“Alright!” Ben exclaimed, loudly. “I just got the confirmation from Julian. He’s gotten a hold of some of the pieces we wore for BoRhap and he said we can wear them for the gig!”   
A look of shock crossed Joe’s face, and a second later similar looks came over the screen from the other two men. None of them, including Joe, had not known that Ben was in contact with Julian about this project.   
“You got Julian to lend us costumes?” Joe said quickly, his head lifting off of Ben’s shoulder and twisting his body to stare at the man with his jaw agape. This was both amazing and shocking at the same time. It was also a little bit scary, because Queen was not exactly known for subtlety. But, fuck it, they’d already worn those things in front of a camera for billions of people to see. Repeatedly. Sometimes screen grabs of them would pop up on the internet as more and more memes were made.  
“As long as I don’t have to wear that wig again, I’m good.” Gwil said into the silence that had followed and all of the other men nearly shouted their agreement.

A couple of days before the actual event, the BoRhap Boys met up in London to go through a real practice with each other. As much as they had begged, Julian wouldn’t give up exactly which costumes he had acquired for the guys to wear. All he had told them was that they wouldn’t need to bring anything. This made the boys even more nervous. If they were in some of those crazier outfits it could affect their playing ability, which wasn’t exactly professional level as it was.  
They were surprised at how good they actually were considering the circumstances. The guys were so in sync, and they basically stepped back into their roles. They found it a small comfort knowing that at least if they bombed, they’d bomb as a group and know they had done their best.  
The day of the event came much too quickly for the guys. Joe kept having nervous moments, his leg twitching and hands unable to stay still. He was more nervous for this than he had ever been when acting or directing. Ben had to take hold of his boyfriend’s hands, and kiss away the nerves each time.   
It wasn’t until their call to their dressing room that they found out what Julian had in store for them. Even though each guy had their own room, they ended up all in one, just like Queen always had when they were on tour. Julian opened up garment bags and started passing around clothing to each of the guys.  
Considering just how cruel he could have been, the costume designer had taken it easy on the guys. Rami’s outfit was one from the American tour montage. The leather pants, low cut top and leather jacket and boots. Gwil had been blessed with the ever classy white button up and vest combo, but unfortunately the clogs came with it. Ben, darling that he was, had the more revealing outfit of the open sparkly gold top, and skin tight pants that highlighted every curve of his strong legs.  
And Joe. Sweet, sweet Joe got Deacy’s Live Aid outfit. The other guys all got cool or classy get ups and Joe was stuck with the absolute dorkiest outfit from the movie. Joe would have even been happy with any of the outfits that involved those platform boots that Deacy wore in the early days over this garish product of the eighties.  
“I think you look adorable in that, love.” Ben said with a teasing smile. Joe only scowled back at him, his eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down.   
Ben let out a soft laugh and looked around to make sure that no one was paying attention to them before he leaned in and whispered into Joe’s ear, his soft lips brushing over the tender skin as he did.  
“Want to know a secret Joey love? The first time I wanked while thinking about you was after that first day of shooting. You were wearing this very outfit.”   
A shiver ran along Joe’s spine as those words sunk into him. One hand moved up and settled against Ben’s waist, under the open shirt and he could feel the heat roll off of the blond.  
“You were looking at me with those bloody gorgeous eyes, and you licked your fingers just like Deacy would have. The thought of that tongue being on me..” Ben’s hand moved to rest against the side of Joe’s neck. “It drove me to distraction.” The blond pressed a light kiss against the side of Joe’s head. This was about the extent of PDA they would allow themselves when around more than just their families and the BoRhap crew. A small kiss, a little touch. Nothing overt.   
And Joe thought that he was going to explode at any moment. The crotch of his pants started to feel tight as he thought about his boyfriend’s words. They had to make it through this whole performance and everything after before they could even consider doing anything more physical.  
They were broken out of the moment when a stagehand opened up the door and said “Two minutes.” She gave Ben and Joe a once over in the corner they had been standing in and then Gwil and Rami in front of the mirror, getting the last bit of prep done. She looked back over at Joe and Ben who had at that point moved slightly away from each other. It wasn’t that they cared if she saw them. Plenty of people had seen them together at this point, but they didn’t like that she seemed a little too interested in the sight.  
The boys all stood and made their way out to the side of the big stage. They were going to be the opening act as it were. At least this meant that they were going to get it over with, and not try to come between any of the other amazing acts that were happening after them. When the announcer came over the speakers, welcoming everyone to the event the boys started doing the weird ‘touch in’ exercise that their movement coach had taught them. They had never really been able to shake that habit when they were together. They even did it before interviews on the press tour. The only real difference between them doing it on set, and doing it now was that Joe and Ben shared a kiss for their little ‘touch-in.’  
“Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to our first act of the night, The BoRhap Boys! Rami Malek, Gwilym Lee, Ben Hardy, and Joe Mazzello!”  
The four men grinned as they heard the announcer say the stupid name they had insisted on being called. It was one that the fans had truly given them. Almost every photo, article, or video of them had been followed with the hashtag ‘BoRhap Boys’ for months after that movie had come out. They all jogged out onto the stage, waving at the people with more confidence than they truly felt. That’s what it was like to be an actor. You had to fake it until you make it. These four men were truly the masters of it.   
They each went to where the instruments they were slated to play had been set up for them. Ben behind the drum kit, Gwil to the right with the replica Red Special, Joe to the left with the bass, and Rami just off to the side of Joe at a piano that had been set up there. They each tested the instruments they had given for a few moments before all looking back and forth, each one more nervous than the next. Joe looked back at Ben, and saw his lover give him a big grin, and that gave him the little boost he needed to turn his own grin back on. The saving grace was that the stage lights were so bright that they couldn’t see the audience, but they could see the red light of cameras as they recorded everything.  
Their nerves steeled, Rami let out the first note of the night.  
“Can…” and then Ben, Joe and Gwil chimed in to sing along. “Anybody find me somebody to love?” This was it. They had started and there was no turning back now. Unlike with most Queen shows, where Deacy would only sing background for small parts, Joe loaned his voice to the chorus of sound.   
As Rami’s fingers played along the keys the boys took deep breaths and threw themselves into the song. As they played and sang, they could feel the spirit of Queen enter them, and if they messed up they just kept going. Rami’s voice was nice with just a little bit of rasp to it, and he was doing well at staying on pitch. Joe found himself swaying and moving from foot to foot in time with the music, very similar to how John Deacon would have done, and he turned around to look at his boyfriend banging away at the drums behind him.   
He gave a cheeky little grin and brought his fingers to his lips, and gave them a little lick before going back to strumming at the bass. He turned back around to face the audience, but not before seeing the little glint that passed over the blond’s eyes at the gesture.  
Joe could hear the loud cheers of the audience, and when the time came it felt like an arena was singing along with them.  
“Find. Me. Somebody to love. Find. Me. Somebody to love. Find. Me. Somebody to love…” Ben, bless his heart, tried his best to get those high notes. His falsetto has gotten a bit better, but he was no actual Roger Taylor. At least they had a good time, and Joe and the others tried their best not to laugh.  
At the last beat, the guys all threw their fists into the air, and a moment after the lights dropped, there was a thunderous applause from the audience. The guys all put down and stepped away from their instruments, adrenaline running through their veins, and ran up to the front of the stage just as lights went back up. They all bowed as they took in the crowded auditorium.   
Ben’s arm wrapped around Joe’s waist, his hand squeezing the redhead's hip tightly. A small reminder and warning that Joe’s stunt would be paid for later. Joe’s own arm wrapped around Been in return and held his lover’s waist before he turned his head and planted a chaste kiss on the Brit’s cheek and he swore he could hear a chorus of “awwwwwh’s” through the deafening roar of the crowd.  
With that, the four BoRhap Boys jogged back off stage, slick with sweat just from playing a single song. They let out a collective whoop and gave in to a group hug.  
“We’re never doing that again!” Joe shouted out loudly. There wasn’t anger in his tone, and in fact, the man was smiling as he said it. His heart was pounding in his chest and there was a slightly manic look to him as relief and joy rushed through him, knowing that it was over. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and that was how it was going to stay.  
The four headed back to the dressing room they had shared and were changing out of the costumes and into the more normal formal wear they had brought for after their performance, when there was a knock at the door. It had taken all four of them to wrangle Rami out of the leather pants, and Ben’s pants weren’t really much easier to get off. Joe obviously didn’t mind helping his boyfriend peel out of them. A quick inspection showed that all four were in acceptable states of dress before Gwil went and cracked open the door.  
“Brian! Roger!” The tall man opened the door, revealing the actual guitarist and drummer from Queen, and people that all four of the BoRhap Boys could call friends. Joe and Ben had given the pair a little wave before going back to helping each other straighten themselves out. They adjusted ties, and rearranged hair. It was almost sickeningly cute just how affectionate they were with each other in these mostly private moments. They didn’t really pay attention when Brian said,   
“It’s good to see you lads again. That performance was great, for not knowing exactly what you were doing.” That was Brian for you, so supportive but also realistic.  
“You boys made us proud.” Roger said as he stepped in after Brian. Roger was the more optimistic of the two. Ben and Joe turned to face their visitors, their fingers interlaced, wanting to feel the contact of the other as they came down from a rush that was akin to coming down from the high of sex. The adrenaline rush and dopamine high were not too far off from each other. That was when a third man entered the room behind the other two. Joe and Ben’s first instincts were to take their hands apart. It was so ingrained in them to keep touching to a minimum whenever there was a stranger around. It had nothing to do with not wanting people to know, they had come out in a pretty spectacular way. It had made headlines for weeks. It was just a habit to want to keep the intimacy to people they trusted, and only show it publicly in ways that they could control. Being blackmailed by some money hungry asshole had made them paranoid.  
They kept their hands entwined, only because it was Brian and Roger who had brought this person. The two members of Queen wouldn’t bring around someone they didn’t trust. The man was around Brian and Roger’s age, dressed in a nice suit. The more the four of them looked, the more familiar the man started to feel.  
“We brought someone to meet you. After seeing you boys up there on the stage he said he had to meet you.” Brian said with a smile. “Lads, this is John Deacon.”  
The stunned silence in the room was so complete that a pin dropping would have sounded like a gunshot. Joe’s hand squeezed so tightly around Ben’s that the blond started to feel his fingers going numb from the lack of circulation. Gwil was the first to speak up.  
“Mr. Deacon, it’s an honor to meet you.” The welshman stepped forward and held out his hand, which John met with his. “I’m Gwilym.”  
“Rami, and it really is a pleasure to meet you sir.” Rami was the next to regain his senses and step forward to greet their visitor.  
Ben turned to look at his lover, and saw no small amount of panic on the man’s face. After all, this was the man that he’d played on the big screen. Someone who was so private and out of the spotlight. How many times had Joe told Ben that he wished he could meet the man? Not only to try to make his portrayal better, but because the man was a legend. Indirectly, because of this man, Joe had been able to meet the love of his life. Joe only moved forward because Ben did, as he still had a death grip on his boyfriend’s hand. It took a moment of tugging, but the blond freed his hand, and tried to discreetly shake some feeling back into it before introducing himself as well.  
With that, John turned to Joe who was still staring at the man with wide eyes. It wasn’t often that Joe was at a loss for words. His wit was legendary among his friends and his fans. It was perfect that he had played the man in front of him, because John’s wit was also the stuff of legends.  
“And you’re Joe, it’s a pleasure to meet you at last.” John Deacon’s voice was soft, and a bit weathered with age and from the decades of smoking. He held out his hand and Joe reached up with a hand that by some miracle wasn’t shaking.  
“Yes, sir. It’s an incredible privilege to meet you.” Joe finally managed to squeeze out, as if he didn’t have a breath in his lungs to speak. After they stopped shaking hands, Joe’s went back down searching for Ben’s to anchor himself, but before he could grab it, the Brit’s arm went around his waist to squeeze his hip again. This served two purposes: to reassure Joe, and to save himself broken fingers.   
Joe couldn’t fathom why he was so nervous. He’d met celebrities before. Met rock stars, and hell he’d been roommates with people way more well known than he was. Tons of people would say he was one of those celebrities, not that Joe would agree. He was an actor and director who loved his craft. He’d be doing that stuff even if he didn’t get recognized for it.  
“I wanted to come back and congratulate you all on the performance and thank you for supporting the cause.” John spoke as he looked between the four of them. “And I also wanted to thank you for your portrayals in the movie. I know that Brian and Roger passed along my message to you after the premiere, but I thought now was as good a time as any to tell you in person.”  
“As much of an honor this is, it’s also a bit of a shock.” Ben said as his eyes scanned the man.  
“We had no idea you were here, sir.” Gwil said as the BoRhap Boys exchanged looks, and then focused on the members of Queen. Current and former.  
“And that’s how I prefer it.” John said in that soft voice of his. “I avoid these things like the plague, but Bri and Rog wouldn’t stop pestering me until I agreed to at least come and stay in the wings and meet you boys.” He turned his gaze to his friends with his brows furrowed. “They can be quite stubborn when they want to be.”  
“From everything we’ve heard, you can be the same way.” Joe said with a smile. He was growing more comfortable as they spent more time in the presence of the man. He just had to remember that, like with Roger and Brian, John Deacon was still a human being just like he was. No matter how much of a rock god the man had been.  
John smiled a bit and nodded in agreement. “You’re right. I can be.” He looked over at his former bandmates and nodded to them. “And with that, I’m going to take my leave. It was nice meeting you gentleman, and once again, congratulations.”  
“Before you go sir..” Ben said quickly, “I want to say thank you. From Joe and I.” Ben’s gaze turned to his boyfriend and smiled. Joe returned the smile before turning back to face John.   
“For what might I ask?” John asked with a raised eyebrow.  
“Because.. If it weren’t for you being in Queen, and the legacy you left behind we may have never met.” Joe said with a grin. “It’s the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and it started with you joining a college band.”  
A small glint of something passed across John’s eyes and a small glance at Roger revealed a similar look.  
With a nod to the BoRhap Boys he headed out the door. Brian and Roger said quick farewells and followed after him.  
Once the door was shut, and a few moments had passed all four boys let out a collective breath and started to laugh. It was the slightly hysterical laughter that you shared with friends when something unexpected had happened.  
“Well, BoRhap Boys. Time for us to join the masses once again.” Gwil said solemnly, as if they were attending the funeral for the band. Indeed, this sort of was. Once they left this dressing room, it would be the end of the BoRhap Boys band. For now, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @mistymazzello on tumblr for helping me pick the song! Please tell me what you think in the comments!


	6. Everything I Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After coming out of the closet Joe and Ben had expected there to be an outpouring of feedback. The problem is that even though Joe knew that there would be haters, he didn't know that their words could cut him as deep as they did. Ben hates to see his boyfriend thinking so low of himself, and aims to get Joe's head right.
> 
> TW: self deprecation and self esteem issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty, angsty, angsty Joe.
> 
> WARNING: THE PIECE OF FICTION BELOW CONTAINS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF TWO MEN HAVING SEX. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Joe peeked out from the bathroom to see that his boyfriend was still sound asleep in bed. Joe’s expression softened as he studied the man. His blond hair was messed up from sleep, his lush pink lips slightly parted as he puffed out breaths. His uncovered torso revealed more of his beautifully smooth skin, and his defined pecs, and the little ridges of his abs.   
Joe went back into the bathroom and began his post shower routine. As he stared at himself in the mirror while shaving and brushing his teeth, he couldn’t help but study his own features. He was good looking enough, but he was kind of an average good looking. None of his features stood out, and his body was fit but nothing special. At least his stomach was flat, and he had a bit of definition in his arms.  
All of this thinking was making his brain pull up memories of the different comments that he and Ben had received on social media after the two of them had BAB danced their way out of the closet a few weeks ago. 

‘OMG Ben could do so much better!’

‘Ugh, he’s not even that cute.’

‘If Ben’s gonna be gay, couldn’t he at least have gone for someone good looking?’

The comments had stung Joe right in the heart. Even though the outpouring of love and acceptance outnumbered the hateful comments a hundred to one, those few negative ones had stuck with him. The more he stared at himself in the mirror, the more he kept noticing things that he didn’t like. The length of his nose, the shape of his lips, the lack of definition in his stomach and pecs. He shook his head to try and clear his mind of those thoughts, and rinsed out his toothpaste filled mouth. He quickly changed into a pair of sweatpants and an old tee shirt before slipping out of the bathroom and bedroom as quietly as he could so he wouldn’t disturb the still sleeping blond. Joe made his way to the kitchen and began to make coffee in a slight daze. The shower had woken him up enough, but not quite enough for him to function properly.  
He watched with sleepy eyes, and still slightly unhappy brain as the coffee pot started to fill up. He pulled his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants after he had poured himself a cup and had taken the first glorious sip. He opened up Instagram first, and was bombarded with notifications about the video he had posted last night. He’d convinced Ben to do a small skit with him involving Cardy B, to which his boyfriend had rolled his eyes and agreed on a sighing “Alright.”  
Most of the comments were just laughing emojis, and lols, and a few little words about how funny the video was, and how cute he and Ben were together. All of this positivity, along with the caffeine, were starting to wash away those feelings that he had while he’d been staring in the mirror. The outpouring of love and reassurance that his fans were there supporting him and Ben had been much more important than Joe had really ever thought it would be.  
That feeling washed away when he spotted a comment that made his heart sink.

‘That cardboard cutout is the only Ben he should be with.’

It felt like a knife had been shoved into his guts. Joe tried to think about it rationally. There were people out there who were bound to be jealous. There were going to be people who didn’t approve because of them both being men. There would be people who thought that this was just a PR stunt, and another elaborate joke. This, however, wasn’t something that Joe had anticipated. He couldn’t fathom that people would try to say that he and Ben didn’t belong together because of their looks. It felt so shallow, but at the same time it hit all those little buttons in his brain that he had struggled with when he was still coming to terms with his feelings for Ben. That feeling of inadequacy next to his lover.  
Joe tapped the user’s name and blocked them, making the post disappear from his comment feed. He closed the app, and opened up Twitter and scrolled through his feed while he kept sipping down his coffee. He laughed at a few jokes that friends of his had made, and a couple of memes that had arisen. He checked his notifications and saw that there was a thread under a joking tweet he had made a few days before when he spotted a sign in a window advertising perm services. Some people had come up with witty responses, some only left lols, and a few people shared Ben’s laments about The Perm being brought up yet again.  
Then Joe saw that those negative comments had made it into a thread about a stupid perm joke.

‘Why would Ben be with someone so stupid he didn’t know what a perm is????’

‘What a fucking moron, just let it go already. You got Ben just stop now.’

As quickly as Joe saw the messages, he blocked the users with much harder taps on his screen than was really necessary. He sucked down the last of his coffee as he shoved his phone back into the pocket of his sweatpants. He poured himself another cup of coffee, and stomped down the short hallway of his - and now Ben’s- apartment, thankful that the carpet in here muffled the sound of his footsteps. Joe wasn’t used to this kind of anger filling him. He was usually pretty easy going, and when his temper did flare it was quick to go away. This feeling lingered with him.   
He flopped down into his desk chair and booted up his laptop after setting his fresh cup of caffeine goodness down. He opened up his email to see that his agent had sent him a couple of promising scripts, an email from Brian May (which he obviously opened up immediately, and responded to. When Dr. Brian Harold May sends you a message, you don’t sit on it.) There were a couple messages from other colleagues, and a couple of notices of upcoming bills. Joe sighed in relief when there weren’t any blackmail messages. It wasn’t like he expected them to be there, but after the incident which forced he and Ben to come out before they were ready, he’d been anxious every time he signed on. He sipped at his coffee, feeling more and more alert as he got deeper into his second cup. He pulled open his writing program with a sigh and opened up the file for his latest project. He’d been tirelessly working on trying to come up with a script for a tv show pilot based around his indie film Undrafted.  
He’d mentioned it in passing in a couple of interviews, and had lengthy discussions with his friends and Ben about the possibility. He was well aware that the idea wasn’t one that would become a long running staple, but to him it had the potential for at least a full season or two. There were just so many stories to tell, and some of the best hadn’t made it into the movie. Joe took a deep breath, set his fingers to the keyboard and began typing away, pushing the earlier thoughts out of his brain.  
Joe only looks up from his work when a strong pair of arms wraps around his shoulders and a sweet kiss is pressed against the spot just below his ear. A small smile graces Joe’s face and he turns his head to steal a sweet peck from his still half asleep lover. One of Ben’s hands holds a coffee mug, the one that pairs with the one Joe had been using. Joe had found the set in a London charity shop not long after he and Ben had started to date. The one the ginger was using was a mug that had a rearing lion painted on one side, while Ben’s sported a prancing unicorn. He’d given it to the Brit as a reminder that even when they were thousands of miles apart, they had something to remind them of each other every morning when they were home and alone. Now it had just become part of their eclectic mix of houseware.   
“Mornin’ love,” Ben said with a slightly sleepy slur as he buried his face against Joe’s shoulder.   
“Good morning babe,” Joe said back to him. As he relaxed into the embrace - as much as he could in the slightly awkward position - his brain wandered back to those negative comments he had read in his social media feeds. His fingers wrapped around Ben’s biceps and squeezed gently. The man was all muscle, and Joe was acquainted with each and every one of them. He felt his heart squeeze as he thought about how his physique wasn’t nearly a match for his lover’s.  
It was like Ben could sense the thoughts in his head, but it was probably the fact that Joe’s body had gone more tense. That rarely happened when Ben was touching him. Ben’s hands on him, his arms wrapped around Joe, lips on his skin were like a balm to the American.  
“What’s wrong baby?” Ben said in a whisper against Joe’s ear, the feeling of his warm breath and that beautiful deep voice making a shiver run down the ginger’s spine. A lump formed in Joe’s throat as he thought about what to say. He didn’t want to worry Ben with his insecurities, but he also didn’t want to lie to the man. They had come so far in their relationship that hiding anything felt like a betrayal for all of it. That made Joe feel even worse, and he felt his eyes sting as tears fought to raise in them. He took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out in a slow breath, trying to dispel the lump in his throat and banish the tears that were just on the edge of filling his eyes.   
Joe’s hands squeezed tighter at Ben’s arms and he tilted his head and rubbed his cheek against the blond’s, nuzzling him gently to bolster his own courage.  
“I checked Instagram and Twitter this morning..” Joe’s words were softly spoken, just barely above a whisper. Ben nodded, and pressed his lips against the crook of Joe’s neck, again making the redhead shiver again.  
“Mmhmm.. And?” That accented voice vibrated against Joe’s skin where Ben hadn’t even bothered to remove his lips from Joe’s sensitive neck. It was as much a gesture of comfort as it was a distraction for Joe. The more Ben touched him, the more relaxed he felt and the more he thought he would be able to say what he needed to. It also made tingles move from his head, down to his toes. It didn’t matter how many times, ways, and places the two had been intimate. Every single time felt like it was the first, with fluttering butterflies in their stomachs and awe and rapture in every single touch.  
“I was reading some of the comments, and I just..” He paused for a moment while he tried to phrase his words in a way that didn’t sound like he was whining. “I just can’t seem to understand why any person would say some of the things they do.” Joe’s voice was still soft, and he sniffed trying to hold the tears at bay. “Why would someone be so.. So shallow?”  
“What do you mean love? People still taking the piss about us being blokes?” Ben nuzzled into Joe’s neck, still aiming to comfort his lover. There had been plenty of love for the pair, but there had been hate as well. Mostly from crackpots, and homophobic assholes but it had still hurt Ben and Joe that people could be so callous about two people who loved each other.  
Joe shook his head, and gently rubbed his hands up and down Ben’s biceps. The Brit had to be getting uncomfortable, bent in half and draped over Joe’s shoulders. “Those jerks can go fuck themselves.. It’s..” He hesitated again, but an encouraging rub of Ben’s nose on his cheek spurred him to speak, words coming out in a rush, “It’s people who seem to think that our looks discount our love for each other.” Joe nearly whined at the loss of warmth when Ben’s arms unraveled themselves from around his shoulders. He didn’t need to worry because Ben just set his half full coffee mug down next to Joe’s empty one. Joe let out a squeak as he was suddenly spun around in his wheelie chair and was suddenly face to face with his bent in half boyfriend.   
One second later, Ben was in his lap, his lower legs pressed against the outside of Joe’s thighs, his butt settled on his lover’s lap. Ben brought his hands up to Joe’s face, his thumbs brushing along Joe’s cheeks while taking in the distraught look held in the older man’s eyes. Ben had known that Joe had been having some self esteem issues. Ben had them about himself, but his were usually related to his personality and lack of being taken seriously. It made his heart ache to know that Joe was suffering.  
“Love, what do you mean by that?” Ben said as he carded a hand through Joe’s still bed mess hair. When Joe stayed silent and a few more tears had decided to well up in Joe’s eyes, Ben leaned forward and pressed the lightest kiss against his boyfriend’s forehead. “Please Joey baby. I want to understand.”  
Joe inhaled deeply as Ben was pressed against him, taking in the scent of his younger lover. It was a heady, musky scent that was uniquely Ben. It helped steel his nerves to elaborate on his earlier words. “You are… you’re beautiful Benny. You are this angelic being. You’re sculpted and gorgeous and.. And just so fucking beautiful.” Joe said as his eyes roamed over that angelic face. The full pink lips, the wide green eyes, and pale skin that even the most talented of classical painters could never hope to replicate or improve upon. “And I’m.. I’m an average Joe.” Joe couldn’t help the sad little chuckle that escaped his lips at the unintended pun.  
Ben’s shoulders relaxed as he let out a sigh of breath, and his lips turned up ever so slightly at the corners. “You are not average in any way Joseph Mazzello. I love every single inch of you.” To emphasize his point, Ben began to list everything he loved about Joe.  
His hand carded once again through Joe’s hair. “I love how your hair looks like fire in the light of the sunrise,” his fingertip rested against Joe’s forehead. “I love every thought that comes out of this brain, no matter how dumb it may seem.” The fingertip trailed down over Joe’s nose to rest against his lips. “I love the way your lips against mine makes my heart beat faster. I love the way your eyes look at me like I’m the only person in the whole world, even in a crowded room.” He brought his other hand up and trailed his fingertips along Joe’s neck, making the older man shiver again. “I love these arms that hold me when we watch movies, or when we go to bed.” Ben’s hands roamed over Joe’s stomach, stopping just above the waistband of his pajama pants. “I love your stomach and legs because of all the strength they give when you fuck me.” Ben said this in a huskier voice, like the thought of it was stealing his breath. “I love your cute little ass, especially when it’s bouncing against my thighs while you ride me.”   
Joe felt a very distinct tightening in the crotch region of his pants, and as Ben kept wriggling in his lap, he could tell his boyfriend was getting into the same state. Ben bent himself so he could plant a kiss against Joe’s shirt covered chest, right over where his heart is. “But most of all, I love this heart of yours, because it opened itself up to me even as it was scared to.”  
Joe felt the tears that had been forming in his eyes spill over and he grabbed Ben by the sides of his face and pulled him in for a kiss that was rough and full of emotion. All of the worry and doubt started to melt away when he felt Ben’s tongue slide into his mouth to dance with his own. Ben kissed Joe with so much passion and need that Joe couldn’t doubt his love and attraction. Their hands began to roam over each other’s bodies, Joe’s moving across warm bare skin, because it seemed that when in private Ben had an aversion to wearing shirts. And pants. The fact that his boyfriend was content to roam around the house in his too-tight-to-be-accidental boxer briefs made Joe a very happy man. Ben’s fingers slid under Joe’s loose tee shirt, pushing up the material to access as much of Joe’s torso as possible. His rough fingers brushed over Joe’s nipples causing the older man to hiss in a breath between kisses.  
Ben pulled away from Joe which earned a whimper of sadness from the American. Ben tugged Joe’s shirt up, and his lover complied by raising his arms and allowing the clothing to be removed. Ben was back on him before the material hit the floor, with lips and tongue and teeth roaming and exploring Joe’s neck. “I love how soft your skin is, and I love the way it flushes when you get excited.” Ben nipped at the junction where Joe’s neck met his shoulder, which in turn made Joe tilt his head so that his lover could have better access to it. Joe’s hands ran up and down along the planes of Ben’s back, short nails gently scratching at his skin.   
Joe cried out softly when suddenly Ben bit down on his tender pulse point, his nails digging in against the blond’s shoulder blades, his toes curling into the carpet. “I love the color your skin turns when I mark it. I love how you look with my love bites all over you.”  
Ben pulled away from Joe with no small amount of hesitancy and climbed off of his lap. He grasped Joe’s hand and tugged his willing boyfriend from his chair. Joe followed Ben eagerly back to their bedroom, and let out a little laugh when he was gently pushed onto it. Ben straddled Joe’s lap again, leaning over the man and trailing kisses from the ginger’s lips, to his chin and jaw. He made his way down his lovers neck, and nipped at Joe’s collarbone. Each little touch sent a flurry of arousal pulsing through Joe. His own hands rubbed along Ben’s luscious skin, feeling the muscles in the blond’s biceps, the strength in his forearms, and his defined chest. Joe’s back arches when Ben takes one of his nipples between his teeth and bites down gently.   
“I love the way your body reacts when I touch it.” Ben keeps kissing his way down his boyfriend’s body, his fingers curling under the waistband of Joe’s sweatpants and tugging them down. He chuckles lightly when Joe eagerly lifts his butt up to make the task easier. Joe’s erection springs free, and smacks against his own stomach. Ben tosses the pants aside when they’re removed, but he plants kisses along every inch of one of Joe’s legs as he does. Ben tugs his own boxer briefs from his body and lets them land on top of Joe’s discarded pants, so that there was no clothing left between them anymore. He crawled back up along Joe’s flushed body, making sure that his hands brushed along every inch of available skin until his hands were cupping Joe’s cheeks. The blond leaned down and captured the ginger’s lips in another heated kiss, their tongues dancing together as their groins ground against each other, making the pair gasp and whimper in their kiss.   
“Benny, please.. I need you..” Joe said on a whine when Ben moved his mouth away to nibble and suck on the tender spot just below his lover’s ear. Joe’s legs wrapped around Ben’s waist, and his hips bucked up, grinding them together more firmly, drawing a low moan from both men.  
Ben reached over to the nightstand, and grabbed the bottle of lube that sat there, still not put away after the previous evening's activities. He pulled up from Joe so that he was kneeling between the older man’s legs and dropped the bottle onto Joe’s chest.   
“I want to watch you get yourself nice and ready for me Joey love.” Ben’s voice, already deep, sounded even huskier with the arousal coursing through him. “I love the way you look when you pleasure yourself for me.”   
With a nod, Joe opened the bottle and poured some of the slick lube onto his fingers before capping the bottle and dropping it to the side. He raised himself up and propped himself up on one hand as the other reached down between his legs. Ben’s pupils were blown wide with lust and adoration as he watched his lover begin to press his fingers into himself.   
Joe hissed quietly as the pressure of his own slick finger burned slightly, but it quickly turned to a whine of pleasure as he adjusted to the feeling. His eyes looked up and watched Ben’s pink flushed face as he marveled in the sight of Joe fingering himself. Joe was a little impatient and needy at the moment, after only a few strokes of a single finger, he pushed in a second. He let out a small whimper and his hips bucked against his own hand. Ben’s large hands grasped at each of the older man’s thighs, squeezing them tightly. Ben’s own hips couldn’t refrain from rocking slightly, an unconscious gesture for what he wanted to do to Joe at that moment. He was patient though. He waited until Joe’s fingers were moving effortlessly in and out of his lover’s tight hole, scissoring open and closed.   
Joe’s breathing had turned into a series of pants and groans and whimpers as he worked himself open for his angelic boyfriend. Ben reached over to where the dropped bottle of lube laid on the bed and poured a generous amount onto his own fingers before wrapping his hand around his own cock and stroking it to coat it in the slick substance. He unconsciously matched the pace of his own strokes to those of Joe’s fingers as they moved and twisted inside of the American.  
“Are you ready for me love? Because I can’t keep watching you anymore.. I need to be inside that tight little arse of yours.” With a small whimper of loss, Joe pulled his fingers out of himself and laid back on the bed, his chest rising and falling in panting breaths.  
“Please Benny.. I need you.. Please.” Joe whined out softly as his hips rolled gently to emphasize his words. Ben could make him come apart like no one else had ever done before. With how eager and lustful his boyfriend looked at him in these moments, how could Joe ever doubt that Ben found him attractive? He reached up and grabbed Ben by the shoulders and tugged him down for a kiss that he groaned and hissed into when he felt the thick head of Ben’s cock push against his hole. His legs returned to being wrapped around Ben’s waist as he slowly worked his way into Joe’s body, allowing the redhead to adjust to every inch before moving deeper. Ben loved him. Beautiful, funny, sweet Ben was in love with Joe. He could tell in every single kiss that the Brit laid along his jaw and neck, and the gentle way that he held Joe as he fully seated himself in Joe’s body.  
“I love the way you feel around my cock.” Ben whispered into Joe’s ear just before pulling his hips back and slamming them forward again with a resounding slapping noise as his thighs smacked against Joe’s ass. This made Joe cry out, but before he could make any reply, Ben did it again. And again. And again. The blond built a steady rhythm, back and forth, in and out, over and over again. Joe’s body responded in kind, his hips rolling with every thrust of his boyfriend’s hips. Pleasure rushed through both of them, like lightning pulsing through their veins directly into their cores. Joe’s hands clawed at Ben’s back, and his teeth nibbled and nipped along Ben’s shoulder.  
Joe yelped out loudly when Ben suddenly used that strong body of his to flip the pair over, without his cock ever leaving Joe’s behind. He grasped onto Joe’s hips and rolled his own in response, planting his feet against the bed for leverage.   
“I want to see you ride me Joey love, I love watching your body bounce on my cock.. So beautiful.” Ben said as he licked and kissed along Joe’s neck. Joe nodded quickly and with panting breaths he straightened up and slightly adjusted himself on top of Ben. He rested each of his hands on Ben’s knees to use as support, and he began to raise and lower himself on his lover’s cock. He started off slowly, the angle here was deeper than they’d had before and he needed to adjust to the feeling.   
Ben watched in awe as his lover began to ride him, knowing that the sight before him was more beautiful than any sunrise, any painting, any sculpture. Joe was magnificent, and glorious with his hair plastered against his forehead, body slick with a sheen of sweat. The slight muscles in Joe’s arms stood out, as did the muscles of his thighs and core as he used them to raise and lower himself on Ben. The brit’s hands gripped tightly to Joe’s hips, pulling him down into every thrust. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. This lovemaking wasn’t a marathon. It was a sprint, and Ben was determined to make sure that Joe made it to the end first.   
Ben released one of Joe’s hips and wrapped that hand around Joe’s precum dripping cock and started to stroke it, twisting his wrist as he did. His thumb brushed over the tip every time he moved his hand up, helping spread that self made lube over Joe’s length. He had seen that Joe was also getting close to his own release in the way that Joe’s skin flushed, and the way his rhythm changed from steady to more erratic.  
Joe cried out softly when Ben’s hand wrapped around his cock, lightning shooting directly from the touch to his core, building up the pressure there tenfold with every stroke.   
“Ben.. Benny baby.. I’m.. I’m gonna.. Fuckfuckfuck..” Joe whined out loudly as his body ground against Ben’s, his lover’s cock fully seated inside of himself.   
“Yes love, I want you to come. Please, come for me..” Ben ground his own hips up into Joe, his hand moving hastily along Joe’s erection, trying to help pull the orgasm out of his lover. Joe cried out wordlessly for a moment before he just repeated his lover’s name over and over again in panting groans. His cock twitched and his stomach muscles fluttered as he came, spurting his cum all over Ben’s hand and stomach.  
“Oh fuck Joe.. that’s it my love.. God it feels so good..” Ben groaned and whined out as he felt Joe’s hole clench around his as his lover came all over him. It only took a few more grinding thrusts before he felt bliss wash over him, and his cock twitched as he released into Joe. Joe’s body shivered and his cock gave another twitch as he felt the warm gush of Ben’s cum painting his insides. Once the initial feeling of orgasm had passed over both of them, all of the tenseness in their muscles left them feeling boneless and Joe flopped down and to the side with a groan as Ben’s softening cock slid out of him. They both lay there on the bed, panting deeply for a few moments before Ben rolled on to his side and wrapped an arm over Joe’s stomach and rested his head on Joe’s chest.   
“I love you Joseph Mazzello the Third. You are the most beautiful man in the entire world, and I am the luckiest bloke on this planet to have your love.”  
Joe’s smile was so wide it almost hurt his cheeks. He was heavily bathing in the afterglow of what had just happened. He was still a bit in awe that Ben loved him. The way his day had begun seemed to exist a million miles away now.   
“I love you too, Benjamin Jones. You are an angel made flesh, and I still can’t believe how I managed to get you to fall in love with me.”  
“You were just you.. That was all that was needed.” Ben said with a grin before pressing a kiss over Joe’s heart. “And right now, what’s needed is a nice hot shower.” he said it with one of those trademark smirks, that always made Joe get weak in the knees.   
“Well.. the mess was kind of my fault so.. Maybe I should be the one to clean it up.” Joe said back softly, and he was only met with a smile and kiss from his Benny boy.

**Author's Note:**

> How did I do? Please let me know in the comments, and you can come scream at me on tumblr! My username is the same.


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